Can you relate to this question? I sure could.
It plagued me for years.
The funny, outgoing person I was with close friends, vanished in social settings. Everything that was supposed to be fun in college—parties, mixers, meeting people—left me feeling anxious and insecure. I felt intensely uncomfortable in my own skin.
That is, until I had a drink.
Downing a couple drinks helped me feel like myself again. It was the perfect mask to hide my insecurities. At least, that's what I thought.
In my twenties, alcohol fixed a new set of problems. I was sure that everyone else around me had it all figured out, while I was toiling away on a path that didn't feel quite right. By the time the weekend rolled around I needed a break. A couple of cocktails later and the scorekeeper inside went silent.
Yes, there were downsides from too much fun, but everyone I knew used alcohol to have fun and blow off steam. I didn’t drink on my own. I didn’t always over do it. And I certainly didn’t need alcohol to get through the day. Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t quite right.
I knew I was using alcohol as a crutch, but I didn’t have the first clue how not to need it.
What happened when I looked for resources?
When I scoured Google, what I found didn't resonate with me. Either you’re a “normal” drinker and you have nothing to worry about, or you should admit that you’re powerless over alcohol. Neither felt right to me.
So I devised my own solutions. I set drink limits. Spaced drinks out. Alternated with water. I even stopped drinking for an entire year. With all these attempts, my resolve would last for a while, until I just got tired of all the restrictions.
And every time I failed, I felt worse off than before. Why was this so hard to figure out?
There I was. A decade out from college. Still plagued by insecurity. Still using alcohol to quell social anxiety and quiet the merciless self-critic inside of me. Still dealing with all the consequences the next day. On top of that, I now felt totally alone and confused. Saddled by the shame that something must be really wrong because I couldn’t figure this out.
It took me a decade, but I figured it out.
I finally realized my focus was all wrong. I was fixated on the problems my drinking was causing instead of the problems it was solving. Sound crazy? It did to me too.
I’ve been where you are. I know what you’re going through. It took me over a decade of trial-and-error to figure out a sustainable solution, but eventually I did. It’s possible for you too and I can show you how.
I don’t use labels and don't subscribe to a one-size-fits-all solution.
My coaching is about creating a space where you figure out what’s really behind your urge to turn to alcohol. It’s about finding a new way forward that works for you. But most of all it’s about recognizing that what you’re doing now probably isn’t working.
My story is why I work as a life coach helping women who want to stop using alcohol as a crutch but don’t know where to begin.
Want to learn more? Find out if we’re a good fit and sign up for a free, 30-minute discovery call.